So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
