did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
