Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
