i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
