I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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