I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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