ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Help. Why am I so naked?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
