I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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