I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize