Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
