is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
