Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
