you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
