I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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