I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
