hotel room ftw
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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