im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
