somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Your penis caused this!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
