I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
