I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
