): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
