i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Pants are for mortals
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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