i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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