I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
