I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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