I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
