I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Green mimosas i think yes
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
