Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
