the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
