He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
