Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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