There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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