I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
