let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
