when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
