bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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