I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
