I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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