My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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