in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
