I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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