Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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