its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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