I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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