Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Still dying that you shit outside
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
