Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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