he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
