my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
