Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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