She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
