It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
