But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize