so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
