it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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