i don't want you to think of me as your TA
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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