I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
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