She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
