I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
