its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
