I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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