Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My feet surprised me
Randomize
