How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize