you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize