what day is it and did you see me today?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
