Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
