I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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