butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
