yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
