U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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