You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
