it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
