If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
