It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
