I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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