This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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