its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
